Back by popular demand!

Shock horror terrifying news just in at Fox! Look down at the No. 3 tale here and you'll find out that any second now, Mo- hammed is going to pip Jack to come top, and we all know what that means for the Green and Pleasant Land.

Of course, if you had your telescope trained on Planet Fox back on June 6, things might seem a bit familiar. At lower right is what the story looked like back then.

Yep. With almost no effort (and apparently with no shame whatsofreakingever), the Baby Name Peril is back!

Well, surely this is an update, right? A major change in the data, indicating that little Muhammad is marching grimly ahead on his menacing trajectory? Or just another baked tale fresh from the ovens of Lord Copper and his ilk? Hard to say. The numbers aren't exactly the same; the Times, also relying on the Office of National Statistics, used more transliter- ations but got fewer Muhammads. Who knows? Maybe they've taken control of our calculators too.

At any rate, the song remains the same: Let your guard down for a second, and next thing you know you'll be writing backwards and breaking your pharynx on consonants God threw out when He made English the official language of the Garden of Eden. Fox just wants you to know.

[footnote: HEADSUP-L is somewhat unnerved to look back at the June posting and find this alarming conclusion: "So five years out, there will be twice as many Muhammads as Jacks each year? And eventually, British tinies will have to start naming their teddy bears Muhammad just to keep up with the overflow?" Coincidence -- or what?]