Forbidden ledes

As a general rule, never start a news story -- or, for that matter, any piece of writing that isn't specifically about you and your choice in stereotypes -- by announcing your choice in stereotypes. For one thing, readers might assume that you're more interested in proclaiming how the world ought to work than in observing how it does. And for another ...

Hair pulled into a ponytail, Nike tennis shoes, jeans.

... people might say, "Hey! That sounds just like the guy I had for high school chemistry in 1970!"